Directions: rewrite your thesis and reasons and post them. You must have 3-4 reasons to support your thesis. The reasons should reflect the workshopped thesis. If you were not present for the workshop, then post the best version of your thesis and reasons that you have.
The format should look something like this:
Thesis: Gloria Anzaldua uses stories in "Beyond Traditional Notions of Identity" in order to persuade her audience. In places, however, the stories might confuse the audience.
Reason One: Anzaldua's stories allow her to emotionally connect with her audience.
Reason Two: Anzaldua's stories provide personal experience to show her audience that she has experience with the issues she discusses throughout her essay.
Reason Three: Anzaldua's stories, while useful pathos and ethos, are not presented in a logical manner.
Reason Four: Anzaldua's stories also seem to veer off topic in places.
For those who have their thesis workshop on June 30th, your blog is due before class on July 2nd; for those who have their thesis workshop on July 2nd, your blog is due before 5pm on Friday, July 4th.
Reply to Classmate: Offer a suggestion to a classmate on how to improve the reasons. For instance, one or more of the reasons might seem to have nothing to do with the thesis. If you are confused by the relevancy of one or more of the reasons, then ask questions in order to allow your classmate to invent his/her own solutions to the problem. Reply due 5pm on Sunday, July 6th.
Thesis: While some paragraphs in “Beyond Traditional Notions of Identity” lack clarity, Gloria Anzaldúa effectively uses emotional appeals in her essay to convince the audience that race, class and ethnic backgrounds don’t need to divide society.
ReplyDeleteTopic/Reason Sentences
1. Anzaldúa uses many personal stories to help support her argument.
2. Anzaldúa fails to provide clarity in some paragraphs.
3. Anzaldúa uses the mestzia consciousness to give an idea of how to build a global culture.
4. Anzaldúa mainly uses emotion to manipulate her audience and relies on her ethos to support it.
Maybe if you changed the phrase global culture to new tribalism it would be easier to explain.
DeleteI would suggest that you find a way to combine #1 and #4 to build stronger support for your thesis, and put the emotional appeal and ethos into two, separate paragraphs. Ethos seems out of place, however, because your thesis does not indicate you will discuss ethos in your paper. Consider revising your thesis. Additionally, be cautious of your word choice, as your paper is directed at Anzaldua's audience. Use of the word "manipulate" would probably not be appealing in this context. Reason #2 needs to be more clear (that is irony). For #3, you will need to provide really clear analysis of how the idea of mestiza consciousness links back to emotional appeals. You have a lot of good ideas started; you simply need to make those ideas relate more to each other and to the thesis.
DeleteThesis- Using emotional and personal experience, Gloria Anzaldua successfully persuades other scholarly women to form bridges between each others identities.
ReplyDelete1. She uses personal experience to show examples of her own issues with identity.
2. She uses metaphors that symbolize identity and barriers between them.
3. Gives solutions to the issues mentioned, better connecting with audience.
What evidence do you plan to use to show that her solutions help her connect with the audience?
DeleteI have the same question as Jack. Additionally, I am confused as to how solutions provide connections. Also, what is the difference between emotional and personal experience? Consider revising the wording. Otherwise, great start!
DeleteThesis: by expressing her personal experiences Anzaldua effectively motivates her audience to build bridges to include people of all identities.
ReplyDelete1) Anzaldua connects with her audience through her personal experiences
2) She motivates her audience to strive to do better and overcome obstacles
3) She believes that it would be more beneficial to all be united, and she emphasizes that
4) She uses the metaphor for the bridges throughout her paper that symbolizes change
Danielle and I are on the same page. I do not see how you will be able to prove "motivation." You could conditionalize the phrase and say that "she attempts to motivate her audience by effectively…" The reasons should also express "how" she is conveying her ideas to achieve her ends (proving her thesis). For reason two, what does "do better" mean? It is a vague phrase. Reason one is very broad in its expression. Reason four does not seem to have a good link to the thesis, so you will need to have some really good support and analysis to get your reader back to your main claim. In short, you have a lot of good ideas, but now you need to narrow and focus and make sure that you choose to include the ideas you can prove and leave out the rest.
DeleteHow does motivating her audience to do better connect with using her personal experience?
ReplyDelete